Seen while strolling

Three weeks, 21 days, another rabbit:  no significant changes, right?

Seen while strolling

 

Looking out my back door

Late last year, a volunteer plant appeared in our yard.  Since it was in an area that we’re not mowing this year, we let it grow, and it turned out to be a butterfly bush.  It’s now about a foot and a half tall, and purple blossoms are beginning to appear.  I looked out the back window this afternoon, and for the first time, saw a butterfly on one of the flowers.  The first of many, I hope.

My Days

Events in the news are bothering me so much... no, check that, it should be "Pundit reactions to events in the news..." that I've turned off the news.  After Donald Trump's convictions, I was wishing the election would be tomorrow.  I no longer feel that way.  

As if retirement wasn't stressful enough!  For a pastime, I should have chosen a different book instead of William L. Shirer's Berlin Diary.  Either the news or the job status would have required adjustment, but I found that both together aroused an intense feeling of dread, which has mostly been suppressed with the help of sertraline.  Last time I took it, I got off of it quickly because I didn't like feeling a lack of joy.  Now, I greatly want to feel a lack of dread.

"Touch grass," you say?  I've done something better:  "Touch cats."  On the way there, I didn't dare turn on the radio, instead putting on a podcast about John Ford from Turner Classic Movies.  Another TCM podcast on the way home.

I look at Xitter to try to get accustomed to the reactions, or to desensitize myself against the "Cry more" and "Cope and seethe" remarks.  

Thinking for myself:

2016:  Democrats ran the one candidate who Trump could defeat.  A woman, and a Clinton.

2024:  GOP runs the one candidate who Biden can defeat.  An equally old person, a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, and someone whose act has worn thin.

Done. Next?

For the first time in nearly 11 years, I have no paid employment.  I guess that's one way of putting it.

I'm retired.  My last day was last Friday, and there was just enough to do for the day to pass quickly.  I did what needed to be done, I looked up and it was nearly 11:30.  Same in the afternoon; before I knew it the clock was reading 3:30.  There were 50 messages from colleagues wishing me well.  

I liked my job, but I understood it was time to go.

This morning, I unplugged everything related to the former job and piled it in one corner of the office.  Soon I'll gather it all up and drive to the office and drop it off.  Filling that space now are the 2 monitors for my home PC, flanked by the Yamaha speakers the company paid for.  The wires that were in place had to be untangled, and in a couple of cases they weren't long enough anymore in the new setup, which forced some problem-solving behavior.  Anyway, I learned something.

Ready as I'll ever be for retirement, I guess.  I am concerned when I see this quote:  “I think we’re all wired the same. We need to be busy. We need to be active. You need to feel like we’ve got a purpose and a place. Relaxation and time off gets the better of all of us. I’m at my worst when I have time off.”  

Advice I read somewhere recommended having something to retire to.  I have TP for photography and writing and just getting out of the house for awhile.  I'm still following the online music lessons, and although I won't earn an advanced degree, an associate's will probably be all I need or want.  And third, the Le Monde subscription is giving me practice reading and learning French, not only through reading, but also the AI that reads articles aloud.

The best days are past, but I've also seen advice to focus on the good that is still around.  No other realistic alternatives anyway.  And away we go.

Late Saturday Evening Post

My Day:  Awake past midnight, but didn't wake up until after sunrise, unusual to sleep all night without even one overnight walk down the hall.  Putting it in writing now, but those kind of nights are so rare I'll bet I won't forget it.

Another humid day with 90-degree temperatures and no rain.  Watered marigolds, geraniums, indian blankets, and the volunteers (dogwood, evergreen, and the purple-and-pink flower on the single stem amidst daylilies and sedum on the north side of the shed).  Transplanted a small sedum from beneath the zelkova to a sunny planter in the bird garden.  Weed-whacked thistles out back, leaving bare ground and hoping that the lack of rain will keep them from returning.  Maybe I should cover that bare ground with some black fabric.

No walk around the neighborhood this evening, due to a passing brief thundershower just before sunset.  Wouldn't have seen any rabbits anyway.

Meal #1:  raisin bran and pistachios, grapefruit juice and seltzer

Meal #2:  banana with peanut butter, 12 oz. mexican coke, 4 oz. chocolate pudding

Meal #3:  spaghetti with meat sauce, made from PG's recipe, which begins with a jar of Rao's and from there adds meat, onions, and spices.  Oh, and red wine too, but in the recipe, not as a drink at the table.  Lemonade and seltzer.  Some ice cream afterward.  

an hour of practice

an episode of mr. ace and JANE

Countdown (but to what?)

Closest thing I can think of now is that I ran through stages of grief, and have now reached Acceptance.  Not so much for the job, but for the past 11 years, where there was a steady paycheck with steady yearly increases.  Even though I know SSA has yearly increases too, it starts from a lower point, right?  Yeah.

What was the percentage of people who couldn't come up with $400 for an emergency expense?  (Not as high as the initial headlines blared.)  A few days ago, I looked at replacing a valve on the downstairs toilet, but realized I didn't have the tools or the experience to get it done, even with YouTube videos to reference.  Of course, the plumber tried to upsell me, pointing out that the flapper wasn't as bright red as it should be, so why not replace both the valve and the flapper, only $249, it's like an internal overhaul, you know?  "Let's just get the piece that needs fixing, thanks."  Even that cost $125, and I know the complete valve didn't cost more than $25 retail.  Give 'em an inch, they'll ask for a mile.  At least I have a couple of paychecks still to come.

June 28 is a few days away.  Then I have to step off that looming cliff, the one I've been unsteadily approaching for the past 36 years.  Might as well look on the bright side (if there is one).  Maybe I'll discover I can fly.